JUZGADO

23 January 2011

Janis (Photograph: Dale Burkhardt)

Robert Altman with that guy who wrote Me and Bobby McGee.

Lucas, Jen, Danielle in a truly relaxed interlude chez nous.

Janis advertising our favorite beverage at that time.

What Wednesdays look like at Aroma Café. I love these people.

Tara Degl’Innocenti borrowing a pose.

An Aroma Café couple, happy, ready for today and tomorrow.

This is an ant holding a micro chip, just to give you some idea of how strong the ant mandibles are. This is magnified 22 times.

Angela Sambrano, a very happy girl, comes to see me with her father, Gil at Aroma Café.

Arianna Antinori and I in Vicenza, Italy, enjoying the moment.

Home of Janis. She lived here with her dog, her cat, her simple life.

This beautiful pair, this crafty couple, this this truly happy and inspiring duo.

Of course this is the Ur Pietà. Michelangelo, 24 years old, conceived, crafted and carved this in a year.

Tara Degl’Innocenti in Bergamo, Italy.

Notice how The Nile is as wide as one arm of The Persian Gulf. You can see Mount Sinai and Palestine and Israel from here. “The Holy Land.” Three religions have fought each other over this real estate for thousands of years. Three or four or five religions and systems of belief. This has gone on for so long. Right or wrong are just ridiculous concepts by now. This whole area that you see is torn by constant strife, sorrow, bleeding, thirst, battles, contests of will, Abraham, Jesus, Mohammad, unbelievable. And, I mean that literally. Unbelievable.

Doesn’t it look as if all the water could run off the globe here? What holds all the water on here. Gravity? What is gravity, really, what is gravity? This  is an incredible photo that I appropriated from Wesley Freeman, who notes that Taiwan is on the left, very clearly visible, and that Okinawa is up there on the left hidden under the clouds. What a small place we call home.

Ahhh, for the old days when they did tattoos with  piece of split bamboo dipped in India ink. Atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Please don’t let television commercials be any indication of who we are as a people.

Instead of a spelling bee, let’s have a contest to decide who would do the right thing in a situation, an ethics bee. Bad as our spelling is, our sense of ethics needs much more work.

Per un momento ebbi paura che scoppiassero in un applauso.

There for a minute I was afraid they would break out into applause.

I am almost 20 degrees Celsius old.

I have a natural inclination towards service to others. I always wanted to be a shabbes Goy.

So, how’s that hype thing workin’ out for ya?

Sarah Song (Last night I thought of you. At least I think it was you.)

I saw her just last Easter,

Still had her sense of humor,

Sitting on her kiester,

Right on that swollen tumor.

She said her name was Tonto,

She needs no surgery,

Said she loved Toronto,

Committed perjury.

You know she’d been manhandled,

By several Hindi nudists,

She never would panhandle,

With any kind of Buddhist.

Beloved by her creditors,

Who wanted her brand new pickup,

Eluding all those predators,

Without a single hiccup.

She ran into a mobster,

Who used her for a doormat,

And stuffed her with his lobster,

And made her be his floormat.

It was a tragic ending,

She was decaffeinated,

Shot and hot and bending,

Finally vaccinated.___________________

Vah! Denuone latine loquebar?

Oops, was I speaking Latin again?

New Year’s. How late can you say Happy 2011? I started around the Winter Solstice. Happy New Year!  I’m still saying Happy 2011, but it’s beginning to pall a bit. You think July is too late to stop saying Happy New Year?

I have lots of Pileated Woodpeckers around my house. They all sound like Woody. You know what a woodpecker is, right? It’s a 17th century prosthetic device.

Bills come through the mail way faster than checks do.

If you have a tattoo you can’t be buried in a Jewish cemetery. At least I’ve always heard that. I am at peace with this, because, a.)  I don’t have a tattoo, b.) I am going to be cremated, and, c.)  I’m not Jewish.

Pisha Paysha: card game played by two, one of whom is usually a child.  A version of the English game Pitch Patience.

Not so blank verse:

Moths are crazy. It’s obvious that they have no idea what they’re doing. Flying madly this way and that, they torture the cat. I don’t like that. Moths have no direction in life. Unless it’s to my wife. She jumps and screams and has bad dreams, all because of a misled moth, zigging and zagging to and froth. Crazy moth. I’m waxing wroth.

I don’t deserve to have such a happy and lucky life, but I’m going to die and I don’t deserve that either. So, eh?, win some, lose some.

No man knows what his wife is like until they have gone through some very hard times together. Fortunately such opportunities are seldom lacking.

The good news, we hope, is that only very old, very square, very ignorant people use these terms:

queers, goys, rednecks, bean counters, dagos, gringos, apples (red on the outside, white on the inside), yids, guineas, roundeyes, kikes, curry-slurpers, ofays, gals, anglos, spicks, square-heads, broads, güeros, alter kackers, honkies, cunts, sheenies, bananas (yellow on the outside, white on the inside), college white guys, schwartzes, shkutzim (plural of sheigetz), fags, sassenachs (Scotland – an English person, honky), bitches, wops, wetbacks, niggers, camel jockeys, whiteys, beaners, towel heads, let’s see, I haven’t left anyone out, have I?   (Sam gaviota)

Tova toireh mikol sechoireh.

Learning is the best merchandise.

Cher and Cher alike:

Of all the sexual aberrations, perhaps the most peculiar is Chastity.

Nullae satisfactionis potiri non possum.

I can’t get no…satisfaction.

Sancho Panza: reality, bore, good, whore.

Don Quixote: dreams, crashes, irresponsible, flashes.

When she invented the wheel, someone probably shouted, “Oh, my god, this is the end of life as we know it!”

CONVERSATION CONSISTING OF NOT ONE SINGLE ORIGINAL THOUGHT:

Hey, I want to talk to you up close and personal. LOL.

I have a lot on my plate now, but, check it out, works for me.

Ya gotta love it, hey, sounds like a plan, man, you know the drill.

Been there, done that, dude, don’t try this at home.

That rocks totally. Humoungus, awesome.

Easy for you to say. Get with the program, bro, the whole nine yards.

Well, hey, bud, cut to the chase. In your face, lean and mean.

Take no prisoners, doesn’t take a rocket scientist to suss out what I be talkin’ bout. We be boogie, as we speak.

I’m own pop a cap in yo ass, mofo, cause, hey, be some shit.

No problemo. Work with me heah.

Correcta-mundo, hombre, we’re on the same page, that’s a no brainer.

And I mean that in the nicest possible frickin’ way.

No biggie.

You’re a tough act to follow, but don’t give up your day job.

What’s wrong with this picture, José? Ciao, my man.

Yeah, catch you later and tell us how you really feel.

Later. Later. Bye.

Sam Andrew

Big Brother and the Holding Company

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