HAM ON WRY

29 May 2011

 

 

Japan’s currency is the most difficult to counterfeit. I have personally verified this.

 

Kerry Kearny took this photo: Sam Andrew, Peter Albin, Michel Bastian, Dave Getz, James Gurley, 1980s.

 

So, who’s in this photo?

 

Escapees from the Chuckawalla Valley State Prison, south of Interstate 10, west of Blythe, in unincorporated Riverside County, California. 101632 and 945782.

 

Have your ball joints checked once a year at least. Watch her do it if you can. If she didn’t jack up the car, she didn’t do it. This is important.

 

Leg. Charcoal.

 

What Planet Are You From? Excellent film, by the way.

 

Suck and blow, blow and suck, oh, Buddha, help me now.

 

When planting tomato seedlings, crush some eggshells (one to two eggs’ worth) and put them in the hole with the seedling. The shells will promote the growth of large and more flavorful tomatoes.

 

Esistono ospiti di ogni specie.

There are guests of every species.

 

There is no problem in this country, no matter how complex, that Americans, when they really get down to it, can’t completely ignore.

 

 

“I wish Karl would accumulate some Kapital rather than just writing about it, and Engels? He’s no angel.” Minnie Marx about her no good son.

 

One of the Japanese companies is coming out with a five valve per cylinder engine (engines usually have two). Picture a four cylinder engine with twenty valves. The machine shops are going to love doing valve jobs on those. Nah, that won’t cost much.

 

Questa creatura affascinante era addirittura uno schianto.

This fascinating creature was really a knock out.

 

Bamboo (the world’s tallest grass) can grow up to ninety centimeters a day.

 

Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.

Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.

 

Relax. Don’t get caught up in such homilies as “You must do something with your life.” This is outmoded thinking, and, besides, you are doing better than almost everyone else anyway. Look at this photograph and see what you are giving to this new person. Lucky you, lucky her.

 

Psychiatry is cure of the id by the odd.

 

Carburetors have become more and more complex and have evolved into today’s “feedback carburetor,” which uses, yes, you guessed it, a computer chip and various sensors to reduce emissions. Oh, forgot to tell you, no one is making cars with carburetors anymore. Carburetors are dinosaurs, you know, kind of like Big Brother and the Holding Company?

 

There’s never been an answer. There is no answer now. And there is not going to be an answer tomorrow.

 

Spero che tu non perda la strada.

I hope you don’t lose your way.

 

No one says “half a month,” but some people say “a fortnight.”

 

Work is way more fun than fun.

 

Saipan, Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas. OK, so Massachusetts is a commonwealth. Maybe Virginia is one too. Saipan has more abandoned World War II tanks, though.

 

Stephen Andrew IS the blue marble.

 

It’s cheaper to keep a car rather than buying a new one every couple of years. The costs level off about the fourth year and stay the same.

 

Brittany Devan Hale. Whew, it is tough to write “Devan,” tough for a proofreader. She’s a smart woman, matter of fact, funny and happy.

 

Senza aiuto, nessuno potrebbe scrivere un capitolo così monumentale come è questo excursus sull’amore.

Without help, no one could write a chapter as monumental as this treatise on love.

 

Reincarnation? Think about the math.  Say everyone who ever lived has six lives. That’s a lot of souls. Are all those souls going to keep their same value when there are trenty gazixty billion instead of twelve (the number that Adam and Eve had)? Maybe they will, but I’m glad I don’t have to do the accounting. (You have to be particularly expert to know how many “trenty gazixty” is.)

 

Corporations often make marketing decisions by weighing the cost of being sued for your death against the cost of making the product safer. Car makers specialize in this.

 

The thing I like about Lynn is that you are not distracted by her looks or anything like that.

 

Remember that couple in Woody Allen’s Radio Days? They had a program Breakfast With The Demetrions. They were the man and woman about town, urbane, witty, sophisticated. Here they are in the flesh, Marti and Phil.

 

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt.

When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

 

This is Mammy Kimura performing Hamlet. No, she’s just backstage in Tokyo wondering how she can get out of singing Ball & Chain.

 

Paul Moyse does Steve Coogan and very well too.

 

Time could be the most valuable thing you spend.

 

The Arch Fiend of the Universe, as he billed himself then. Later when he joined the ranks of the rest of us wicked, he became Saint James. Go figure.

 

Here!

 

La crème de la crème, and I kid you not. Sophia Ramos.

 

Consequences, shmonsequences, as long as I’m rich.

Kathi McDonald and Long John Baldry.

 

Few people realize that the song Try which we premiered in The Kozmic Blues Band was written by Angelina Jolie’s uncle, Chip Taylor, from Yonkers, New York. A real Yonkers boy, Chip wrote an entire CD celebrating his youth in that town, a very affecting effort from the author of such tunes as Wild Thing and Angel of the Morning. Chip’s brother, of course, is Jon Voigt who now belongs to the singularly ignorant wing of the Republican Party, after an early liberal life, when being liberal was “hip,” and after making a couple of truly worthwhile films, Coming Home (featuring a beautiful ballad by Sam Andrew), and Heat by Michael Mann. Chip Taylor holds his own with integrity in such a family. In fact, he shines, and so does Angelina, of course.

 

Gum is part of the U.S. Armed Forces’ field and combat rations, and soldiers consume gum at a rate five times the national average.

 

Samantha Gorton loves this Dale Burckhardt drawing so much that sparks are coming out of her nose.

 

Watch out for this one. Shelley Champine.

 

My Gibson SG Standard. Mouse painted this, one of the most beautiful guitar decorations ever.

 

Orange County, isn’t it?, has an airport named for John Wayne. Jimmy Stewart served in World War II. He was a good man. The Air Force gave him a medal. He never mentioned his service in interviews. John Wayne was a draft dodger. He stayed home to act in the movies, and he never tired of proclaiming his patriotism and machodum. I mean dumb. Green Bray, donkey. Phony. Here’s to you, General Stewart. You were a real man when it counted.

 

Michael Carabello, a good person. You notice he’s closest to the fire.

 

Ecce magnitudinem illae molae piperi.

Look at the size of that pepper mill.

 

People love me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius artist.

 

Why attack God? She could be as confused as we are.

 

Houston Person, sultan of the saxophone, hero of the horn, Rex of the reed.

 

Enjoy yourself. If you can’t enjoy yourself, enjoy somebody else.

 

The Sam Andrew Band playing at Manny’s Car Wash, New York.

 

My brother Dan sent me this photograph, and my other brother Lee knew Kris even before this photograph was taken.

 

Maria Sorrentino came to my house with Ezio Guaitamacchi and Stefania Vialetto to film an interview.

 

Non vi dirò il nome della stella, ma quando hai detto Cipollina, hai detto tutto.

I won’t tell you the name of the star, but when you’ve said Little Onion, you’ve said everything.

 

We have a Department of Defense and a Pentagon. Why don’t we have a Department of Peace and a Hexagon?

 

Hey, Chad Quist can play a C chord, or is that a C flat 5?

 

Hmmm.

Photo: Max Clarke.

 

Get your alignment checked about once a year. These days that’s about the only time someone is really going to look at your car.

 

Goodbye till next week.

Sam Andrew

Big Brother and the Holding Company

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