Amphibology

almacén de ramos generales

Amphibology (from the Greek ἀμφιβολία, amphibolia) is a phrase or sentence that is grammatically ambiguous, such as she sees more of her children than her husband.

anetta morozova

A sentence or phrase (as “nothing is good enough for you”) that can be interpreted in more than one way.
Angela
Amphibology is syntactic ambiguity.
anne
Syntactic ambiguity arises not from the range of meanings of single words, but from the relationship between the words and clauses of a sentence, and the sentence structure implied thereby.   Thus, puns, being plays on single words, don’t really belong to the category amphibol0gy, but I will make free use of them below.
Ant Tara Mayotte
When a reader can reasonably interpret the same sentence as having more than one possible structure, the text meets the definition of amphibology.
Aston Martin
In legal disputes, courts may be asked to interpret the meaning of syntactic ambiguities in statutes or contracts. In some instances, arguments asserting highly unlikely interpretations have been deemed frivolous.
B4 cell phones
A globally ambiguous sentence is one that has at least two distinct interpretations. After one has read the entire sentence, the ambiguity is still present.
Barbara and Diana
Rereading the sentence does not resolve the ambiguity. Global ambiguities are often unnoticed because the reader tends to choose the meaning he or she understands to be more probable.
Bill and Vivianna
“The woman played with the baby in the gray shirt.” In this example, the baby could be wearing the gray shirt or the woman could be wearing the gray shirt.
Bill Elise
The duke yet lives that Henry shall depose. — Henry VI (1.4.30), Shakespeare
bill
This sentence could be taken to mean that Henry will depose the duke, or that the duke will depose Henry.
Billie
Eduardum occidere nolite timere bonum est. — Edward II, Marlowe.
Biloxi Elise
Isabella of France and Roger Mortimer, 1st Earl of March, famously plotted to murder Edward II in such a way as not to draw blame on themselves, sending a famous order in Latin which, depending on where the comma was inserted, could mean either “Do not be afraid to kill Edward; it is good” or “Do not kill Edward; it is good to fear.”
Blake and Kate
I’m glad I’m a man, and so is Lola. — Lola, Ray Davies
a ballet
SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
buscadores de oro
John saw the man on the mountain with a telescope.
Cara
Eat every carrot and pea on your plate.         (Actually this is amphibology and punning, which is a slightly different matter.)
Carolyn
Flying saucers can be dangerous.
carreta de carga
Whiskey running is risky.
a bather
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
cálmate
Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked forty miles.
charlotte
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by Willy Makeit and Betty Wont.
Cherie
Tiger’s Revenge by Claude Balls
Clark
Hole In The Mattress by Mr. Completely
Colleen
The Yellow River by I.P. Freely
Column Elise
Are these amphibologies?   No. They are jokes I remember from the third grade.
compré
Amphibologies are often difficult, if not impossible, to translate.  Here is one that works in Spanish and English.  I bought a book called ‘Learn to speak English in 15 steps.’ I have walked 3 blocks and nothing!  Swindlers!
counterfeit
That one works in both languages.   Estafador!
Dale
If one combines the words ‘to write-while-not-writing’: for then it means, that he has the power to write and not to write at once; whereas if one does not combine them, it means that when he is not writing he has the power to write.       — Aristotle, Sophistical refutations, Book I, Part 4
lydia
REAGAN WINS ON BUDGET, BUT MORE LIES AHEAD
desfile
Farmer Bill Dies in House
diana
Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms
dog
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Donna
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
drummers
Infant Pulled from Wrecked Car Involved in Short Police Pursuit
Eartha Arthur Marilyn
French push bottles up German rear
Edd, Carla, Elise
Or, this one:     Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans
edie
British left waffles on Falklands
elizabeth
Stolen painting found by tree
Ella and Roy
Little Hope Given Brain-Damaged Man
emily
Somali Tied to Militants Held on U.S. Ship for Months
ENYC
I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.      Julius Marx
Escher
The peasants are revolting.
FDNY
A nurse complains:  He had two bowel movements on  me last night.
Gabrielle
Don’t Get Mad. Get Glad.
Gladys
The woman with the dog that had the parasol was brown.
government
The stress accent is on the third syllable  am phi BO lo gy.      [ˌæmfɪˈbɒlədʒɪ]
Greenlee
Save rags and waste paper
a musica

SHOT OFF WOMAN’S LEG HELPS NICKLAUS TO 66

Heather Greenlee
They are flying planes.
a hopper
Hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors.
Heather
Teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to drive. It’s getting too dangerous on the streets.
Heston
Giving it to the public in the same location for over forty years.
a nudo disteso
2 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years At Checkout Counter
Hillary
chiara
Used cars for sale: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
Irizarry
Down through the flaming annals of history.
jack
Eat our curry, you won’t get better!
Jena and Anne
Throw mama from the train a kiss.
Jena
From the psychiatrist’s record at Saint Francis Memorial Hospital :  Patient was found lying naked in bed with a sitter.
jim siegel
“For goddes speken in amphibologies, And for o soth, they tellen twenty lyes.”     (Chaucer Troylus iv. 1406)
Jenefer
Such ambiguous termes they call Amphibologia, we call it the ambiguous, or figure of sence incertaine.     (Puttenham Eng. Poesie)
Joan Karen Elise
Late Middle English: from Old French amphibologie, from late Latin amphibologia, from Latin amphibolia, from Greek amphibolos ’ambiguous.’
Joanne and Claudia
Amphi’bolic or amphiboly
johan
Reading a book while growing mushrooms would be two ways of promoting life.  So, what would be the word for this, Amphibia?  Amphipharmikon?
a donna
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
two girls
In Athens men learn’d […] to resolve a sophisticall argument, and to confound the imposture and amphibologie of words, captiously enterlaced together […].  1603, John Florio, translating Michel de Montaigne, Essays, Folio Society 2006, vol. 1 p. 133
Julie
Dog for sale. Will eat anything. Especially fond of children.
karen
 Amphibology:  14th Century: from Late Latin amphibologia, ultimately from Greek amphibolos ambiguous
katie
At our drugstore, we dispense with accuracy!
Knee
Professor to student, on receiving a fifty-page term paper:     “I shall waste no time reading it.” (Often attributed to Disraeli.)
a smile
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
kodiak
No food is better than our food.
a femme
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Krauthammer
Does anyone else think that this guy looks like a Zombie?  He looks patched together from human parts.  They left out the heart.
Lakota Sioux 1891
Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden.
Laura
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Laurel
We must reduce our volume to the simple evangelists, select, even from them, the very words only of Jesus, paring off the amphibologisms into which they have been led, by forgetting often, or not understanding, what had fallen from him, by giving their own misconceptions as his dicta, and expressing unintelligibly for others what they had not understood themselves.      Thomas Jefferson
Lauren Wood
Faith, here’s an equivocator, that could swear in both the scales against either scale; who committed treason enough for God’s sake, yet could not equivocate to heaven. Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3
Lauren
Some synomyms:  prevarication, ambiguity, casuistry, dissimulation, duplicity, misrepresentation, sophistry, speciousness, tergiversation, song and dance.
Leah
The anthropologists went to a remote area and took photographs of some native women, but they weren’t developed.
Leopard Elise
Man drills eighteen holes in his head and lives.   (About a man who died after drilling nineteen holes in his head)
Lilli and Stephanie
Chick accuses male colleagues of sexism.
Lillian
Rangers get whiff of Colon
limpiador
Ford, Reagan neck in presidential primary
Linda and Kurt
Student excited Dad got head job.
a gioconda
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Lisa
Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25.
Liz Elise NYC
Lady Jacks off to hot start in conference
LizBeth
Homicide victims rarely talk to police
Louis
A-Rod goes deep,  Wang hurt
Lynn and Narada
Porn star sues over rear-end collision
Lynn
Crack found in man’s buttocks
manu
Girls’ schools still offering ‘something special’… head
a maillol
12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash
margaret
Study Shows Frequent Sex Enhances Pregnancy Chances
mari
Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison.
Marti and Glaucia
Condom truck tips, spills load
Martina
Deer with big rack female it turns out
Mel
City unsure why the sewer smells
Melodye
Weiner Exposed
Michael Miller & Elise
17 remain dead in morgue  Shooting Spree
Michelle
Puerto Rican teen named mistress of the Universe
Michelle and Jack
Local child wins gun from fundraiser
Mike
Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
Mindy
Keegan fills Schmeichel’s gap with Seaman
Mona
Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaulted her ex-girlfriend in gay pub after she waved at man dressed as Snickers bar.
Monika Jay
China Ferrari sex orgy death crash
observations
German throws puppy at Hells Angels bikers then flees on bulldozer
pancho
Jellyfish apocalypse not coming
paul
Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney
pay
Mayor Parris to homeless:  Go home
peggy
Missippi’s literacy program shows improvement
Perry Jack
Most earthquake damage is caused by shaking
Peter
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Phil and Glaucia
Alton attorney accidentally sues himself
Pilori
Man eats underwear to beat Breathalyzer
pope
State prisons to replace Easy-Open locks
post
Best Man left bleeding after being hit in head by flying dildo
profile GGate
Pigs die as houses are blown down
Rain Elise
Being Bullied?  Just act less gay, advise teachers
Ray and Ravi
SHE THOUGHT CYCLIST WAS A TREE BRANCH
reunión de esclavos 1917
Shakira Attacked By Sea Lion:   Blackberry Mistaken For Fish
reunión de jefes
I bottle-fed my children, but I breastfeed my pug dog
Rich
Clothed man drowns at lifeguard party celebrating drowning-free summer
Richard
Brazilian man dies after cow falls through his roof on top of him
rifles
Mississippi executes deformed mentally ill man after a last meal of steak, shrimp, Texas Toast, iced tea and a pack of Twizzlers.
Rodney and Emmy Lou
Gay man who tried to poison lesbian neighbors with slug pellets over three-legged cat feud walks free
Roy
Penguins Not Protests on Turkish TV Fuel Anger
Sally
Giraffe Mulling Suicide as ‘Terrorists’ Chant in Cairo
Sam
DSM’s Flirt With Red Hot Mamas Cuts Investor Love for Plastics
sandra
Brokers Go Gray as Youth Proves Unsustainable With No Cold Calls
Sarah Duke Billy
Cold War With Soup Tempts East Europeans to Menus of HBO, Sony
Sepia Elise
DoCoMo Cash, Girl Band Help Beat Softbank on Costs: Japan Credit
Shanice
Kill Your Wife While Sleepwalking or Get Goldman Touch
Shizuka
Forex During Birth Shows Asian Women Top Men Private Bankers
Slick
Shark Oil for HIV Shot Takes Cue From Hemingway’s Old Man
Sophia Ramos Elise Piliwale
The turkey is ready to eat.
stacy
Visiting relatives can be boring.
stefano
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘All right, but we’re not going to get much done.’
Stephen and Leah
Planes can go around the world, iPhones can do a zillion things, but humans have not invented a machine that can debone a cow or a chicken as efficiently as a human being.
steve
They are cooking apples.
stingray Elise
The old men and women sat on the bench.
Tamre
John told the woman that Bill was dating a projectile point.
taxi NYC
They fed her rat poison.
Tina Elise
Kids make nutritious snacks.
elephants15
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one.
tirando wiskey 1909-1932
Drunk gets nine months in violin case.
tom shyman
Milk drinkers are turning to powder.
tom
I know the words to that song about the queen don’t rhyme.
tyler
Eye drops off shelf.
Up close Elise
Prostitutes appeal to pope.
vanessa
Queen Mary having bottom scraped.
Venere Elise
Miners refuse to work after death.
victor
Panda mating fails. Veterinarian takes over.
Victoria Rayles
Complaints about NBA referees growing ugly.
vivianna

MAN EATING PIRANHA MISTAKENLY SOLD AS PET FISH

vuelo de los hermanos Wright

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

a cabeza

a duck

Do it in a microwave oven.  Save time.

a woman

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

a dream

a child

Diaper market bottoms out.

atti

art lover

Is there a ring of débris around Uranus?

Wendy & Elise SFLR

LACK OF BRAINS HINDERS RESEARCH

tiger-woods-signature-wallpaper-2843

Tiger Goes Limp!   Pulls Out After Nine Holes

shame-on-us

Library Vote Upholds Decision To OK Guns But Bans Wooden Shoes

a correct

pb-120103-santorum-da.photoblog900

Poll:  Santorum Comes From Behind In Alabama Three-Way

housearrest

Homeless Man Under House Arrest

Sam Andrew Ike Turner, Thailand

ike

memic.net-angelina-jolie-smiling-1280x1024

Jolie Is Pregnant By Pitt

Child_pushing_grandmother_on_plastic_tricycle

Students Cook & Serve Grandparents

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

How To Buy A $450,000 Home for Only $750,000

Coffee-Calvin-Klein-Silver-Steel-Cotton-Briefs-Mens-Underwear

Man Arrested After Cops Spot Suspiciously Small Package In His Undies

A_skyline 1908

Midget Sues Grocer, Cites Belittling Remarks

1280px-2nd_Place_-_Bottoms_Up!_(6969930620)

Acceptance of Gay Marriage Must Be Won From Bottom Up

yisrael campbell

mohel_yelp_ad

Man On Way To Perform Circumcision Charged With Driving Drunk

a dea
See you next week?
Linda LaFlamme Sam Andrew
Linda LaFlamme             Sam Andrew
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